The Bride and Never the Bridesmaid

The bride and never the bridesmaid

The one and only time I’ve been a bridesmaid, was for my oldest sister, she was turning 21, I was 14, which gulp, is now more than 20 years ago.

Given my age and position of baby sister, I really had no say in anything that happened in the lead up to the wedding, including my dress, make-up, hair or shoes.  

For me, the day rolled around with the minimum of fuss, certainly no cost, and from memory, very little input.  It was a country wedding and as the photographer was late, it got a bit crazy, he had the flowers.  Other than that, it was fairly quiet.  Casting my mind back now, I actually have no real memories of the day as it was so long ago.

I’ve been asked twice since then, both for girls that I have known for a long time, one basically since birth and the other since the first day of high school, both of which are too many years to remember.  Unfortunately, neither has come to fruition and given all but one close friend of mine is now married, I don’t see it ever happening.

The friend that I’ve known since birth got engaged when we were 21, and over the course of time and distance, she lives in the country and I’ve lived all over Australia, we’ve grown apart.  Unfortunately, we now have very little in common and we are no longer in contact.  Having said that, I believe she still hasn’t married her partner of nearly 20 years.  

My chances are limited

They have three girls together and clearly a committed relationship, but it appears they’ve never felt the need to sign on the dotted line.  I am fully supportive of their decision not to marry, or get married if that’s what they want.  I am also fully aware that given the question was asked 16 years ago, and as stated we no longer talk, that there is no chance that I’ll get the gig and that is ok with me.

As with all friendships, my friendship with my high school friend had ebbed and flowed as life changed.  We’d lived together, fought like sisters and made up.  I was equally close to her sister; in fact the three of us lived together at one stage and I worked with both of them at different times.   My high school friend had been with her now husband for a few years when she asked me, and in fact they weren’t even engaged when she asked.

Roll on a few years and my friend is engaged.  How exciting, he finally asked!!  I was living over east at the time, so did wonder how we would coordinate the bridesmaid dress shopping, but thought we’d work it out.  I was always looking for an excuse to come back to Perth and wedding and bridesmaid dress shopping would have been a perfect excuse.  Unfortunately for one reason or another it never happened.

I’d dearly love to be able to go bridesmaid dress shopping, to plan the hen’s night, to go to the wedding with my bride to be, be in on the planning, and enjoy the nerves and excitement of getting ready on the day or hang out with my bestie when she marries her bloke.

So after my two ‘near-hits’, I have never had the opportunity to be a bridesmaid as an adult which makes me sad.

But that’s ok, because I recently got to do all that as a bride.

Life always works out in the end; you just have to ride the bumps along the way.